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Ultimate Spider-Man
#15 - For Your Eye Only
Original Airdate - July 22nd, 2012
When the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier is taken over by an evil super army, Spider-Man finds himself without help against the forces of Scorpio and Zodiac.

Ultimate Spider-Man stars Drake Bell (Drake & Josh) as Peter Parker/Spider-Man, Chi McBride (Boston Public) as Nick Fury, Clark Gregg (Iron Man, Thor, The Avengers) as Agent Coulson, JK Simmons (Spider-Man) as J. Jonah Jameson, Steven Weber (Wings) as Norman Osborn, Greg Cipes (Teen Titans, Ben 10) as Danny Rand/Iron Fist, Ogie Banks as Luke Cage/Power Man, Caitlyn Taylor Love (I'm In The Band) as Ava Ayala/White Tiger, Logan Miller (I'm In The Band) as Sam Alexander/Nova, Tom Kenny (SpongeBob SquarePants) as Doctor Octopus, Matt Lanter (Star Wars: The Clone Wars) as Harry Osborn/Flash Thompson, Tara Strong (The Fairly Odd Parents) as Mary-Jane Watson, Misty Lee (Batman: Arkham City) as Aunt May, and recurring guest star Stan Lee (Spider-Man) as Stan the Janitor.

Guest starring are Dave Boat (The Super Hero Squad Show) as Lion-Headed Zodiak and Phil Morris (The Secret Saturdays) as Scorpio and Lion-Headed Zodiak #2.

"For Your Eye Only" was written by Brian Michael Bendis and directed by Jeff Allen.

Ultimate Spider-Man is produced by Marvel Animation and carries a TV-Y7-FV parental guideline.

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And here we have another Spider-man episode without his team around, and another episode where toys get advertised. And also another episode where his quips and puns are lame and uninteresting. And where the cutaway gags are whatever’s opposite of hilarious.

First off, how can an entire crew of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents fit in one single section of the Helicarrier? And how can Fury let them all out that easily? And how come nobody died of water pressure when the said Helicarrier crashed into the water, broken window glass and all? But all that’s beside the point.

As stated above, this episode is an advertisement for selling toys. Apparently, Spidey thinks all of his equipment is “cool”. Therefore, the children watching are required to think it cool and must possess it. Ready your wallets, parents! Or don’t; after all, it’s probably a wonder if any child actually watches and/or loves this show. You have your web-guns, your Arachnidiscs, your little elastic balls, your high-tech looking hoverbikes, and your new Spider-armor. They all scream “Buy me! Stick me onto your Spider-man action figure! Awful humor sold separately.” If anything, bearing numerous guns is more Deadpool’s forte. Hell, he’d sell way more toys had he been in an episode similar to this one.

Positive sides? Fury, I suppose. While not fully fleshed out like Earth’s Mightiest Director, this particular rendition has its merits. The brother subplot helps too. Scorpio was decent. Plain and cliché, but decent. And the fight with fists was well orchestrated also. Not to mention that some of the allusions to the larger Marvel universe (vibranium, adamantium, Madripoor, Wakanda) and co-creators (Stan Ditkubert) were half-interesting as well. Not enough to make this episode work, though.

In fact, with this and all the episodes prior to and after it, I highly doubt we’ll get anything resembling quality stuff in this season, or in the second season for that matter. We need a new Spider-man series, pronto. And I know this is not appropriate coming from a reviewer of this show, but facts are facts, dear reader. If you can enjoy this cartoon, keep watching, it’s your freedom of choice at work. However, Web-Slinger deserves a story with depth and distance. This show has none, and I highly doubt it ever will.