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Ultimate Spider-Man
#31 - Hawkeye
Original Airdate - February 10th, 2013
Spider-Man and Hawkeye are forced to team up when the armored mercenary The Beetle returns to New York City.

Ultimate Spider-Man is produced by Marvel Animation and carries a TV-Y7-FV parental guideline.

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Come to that, you'd think that since SHIELD is essentially acting in loco parentis to Power Man, Iron Fist, and White Tiger, they'd spring for some temporary housing. After all, the cost of Luke Cage's motorcycle alone would pay for a year's worth for the three of them - but I digress. The writers want to do the whole "dorm life is annoying" riff, even when it makes no actual sense, so what's one more lame bit amongst all the others? Amazing what you can get away with when you write down to your audience.

The Beetle attacks the under-construction helicarrier, and id foiled by Hawkeye, Spider-Man, and Nick Fury. Fury assigns Hawkeye to Spidey for watching, as the Beetle clearly is bearing a grudge against Spider-Man.

The "my toys are better than your toys" bit got old fast, but at least Hawkeye was in character, acting like a professional while Spidey came off horribly childish and immature. Granted, he's only sixteen or so, but still, I expect that level of childishness from a twelve-year-old. Kind of embarrassing to be bragging about your tech when your web shooter keeps malfunctioning as a plot device.

The chibi jokes were as funny as ever - which is to say distracting and intrrupting the narrative flow and the combat scenes - and not very funny, but if you like them, they're still there. The inline humor - the quips while fighting - aren't bad, and when they are its at least in character.

An archer who doesn't carry an extra bowstring? Really? Bowstrings don't snap because of user action, they go bad because they stretch over time, especially in inclement weather.

Still, its not all dreck - I do like the Beetle's armor design and its massive firepower array. You'd think he'd need a tether with reloads of all the ordinance he pops off though. The SHIELD battle armor, while not a Mandroid, is still pretty decent-looking, The cab driver sequence was fun - "I ain't goin' to Jersey!"

Not as bad as some of the most recent episodes, but not very good.